Sat, 09 Nov 2024 02:06:24 +0000

How do you let go, what was never yours? Like deep one-sided love. Like those deep yearning of joy and tenderness, you felt on winter mornings. Which only you felt. When you walked through that hotel he once visited with his beloved, you wished you were her. Yet, the pain stings you. Like a bee. Like a dead flesh. You try to rationalize. Every night your brain says, you will end it, all. Yet every morning the love blooms, that becomes suffocating by afternoon and almost kills you at night. You know his routine, his food habit and the color of the shirt he will wear today. Red or Green, you always know. But you are never a part of it. Just an audience. And how it hurts to be one. You read everything he did. You make his tastes yours and again he chooses someone else. You again try to be her. Your life seems to be a battle of becoming a beloved to someone who does not recognize your presence. Each day his absence is the only presence, you live, fight and cry with. You tell yourself how strong you are. How you don’t care. How he is not good enough for you. But each time he chooses someone else, you tell yourself how you were never good enough.